turbulence mantra

ladies and gentlemen,
the captain has turned on the seatbelt sign,
please remain seated and
refrain to use the washroom at this time.

sir, sir, the seatbelt sign is on. i understand. please close the overhead bin. please remain seated. mam, i legally have to warn you that it is unsafe to be standing right now. please return to your seat and fasten your seatbelt. i understand. no. well, i- actually it’s- well, i mean - it is ill advised to use the lavatory at this moment- uh huh. well, no. i see. please remain sea- DING hello, how may i assist you? unfortunately, as we are passing a zone of rough air i cannot serve any hot beverage at the moment, for my safety, and yours, and the safety of the passengers around you. haha, yes, i wish we could - uh huh, well- i understand. well, let me write down your seat number on this cup, and i will bring it to you as soon as the seatbelt sign comes off. cream? sugar? DING well, for your safety, you should remain seated for the entire duration of the turbulence. well, i-, well, no - it’s- i cannot- well yes, i will not forcefully hold you down in your seat, mam, but i cannot- i understand. i have to go back to sit in my seat with my own seatbelt on now. DING well, i cannot serve you another drink right now, cause we have to be seated for our safety, but as soon as the seatbelt sign comes off we will be right back with the food and beverage service. yes. i know, it’s been a long time but- yes but- well, we are not allowed to have a seven hundred pounds metal cart in the aisle during turbulence again for the safety of the crew and of the passen- i understand, please, i- DING mam, mam, your child should be seated at this moment, for his safety, it’s not the time to- well, i understand, but it’s better that he be safe and cry, than walk around and- yes.

ladies and gentlemen,
we would like to remind you that the
seatbelt sign is still on, if you could
please remain seated for the duration of-

DING
DING
DING